What's Next?

Complicated?

2012-01-30T22:34:00.000-05:00

The Greatest Commandment

³⁴ Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵ One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^[c] ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[d] ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Are you like me? Do you tend to over-complicate some things in life? I do it with Christianity all the time, and quite honestly I'm to the point of getting frustrated with myself every time I notice it. Jesus took all the commandments that God gave us and broke it down in these couple of verses; to love God above all things and above all people, and then to love people the same way we love ourselves.

Easy.., right? Not for me, but it definitely isn't complicated. It really doesn't come down to a bunch of legalistic things I have to do accompanied by the longer list of things I should not do. It is simply to Love God, and love people. I want to skip over loving God, and move directly into loving people. Not because I think loving God doesn't warrant talking about, but because God has recently shown me that I lack tremendously in how I love other people.

For anyone who knows me, this isn't going to come as much of a surprise, but I'm pretty much a loaner; an introvert. I'm not one for being in crowds of people and I don't do well with chit chat. I'm not the guy that people call when they want to go out and have fun, but I am the guy that someone can call if they need to run a question by, or if they need help with something that I might be handy at. This is just how I'm wired, and to be perfectly honest with you, that is exactly how I like things.

But being that I am a christian, is living that lifestyle of a recluse OK? Now, most people who aren't believers would say, "yes! please stay to yourself - you freak!", but those people really don't hold the opinion that I should be basing my answer on.

A few months ago, our church sponsored a "get to know your neighbor party", and of all neighborhoods for my pastor to choose to hold the outreach, he chose our neighborhood. My initial response to him was, 'man, the only way you are going to get adults out the front door is if you bring the beer truck!' I bet he was real encouraged after that. Later that week or the following week, I met with him over a sweet tea, and he suggested that I just start walking around the neighborhood and pray to God about the different things that I saw. I started doing just that; I would pray for the families that may have been outside as I was walking, and for those who needed repairs on their houses or houses painted, etc. But it wasn't long before God really started directing my prayer and revealing my own heart. One night, after dark, I took a walk out the front door and before I made it to the top of the hill, I got real honest with God. I said, 'God, if anything is going to take place in this neighborhood, you are going to have be the one that gets it done, because quite honestly I don't really care about them.' As the words came out of my mouth, I realized exactly what God had just revealed to me.

If I don't care about the people that Jesus came and died for, then how in the world can I say that I love God. He showed me that I was selfish, for the most part. In a nutshell, I cared enough about myself to accept Christ and His sacrifice, but don't care enough about the people around me to be looking for ways to share Him with them.

If you were to be completely honest with yourself - if it were just you and your reflection - how are you doing with loving others? Do you love them as much as you love yourself, or are you more concerned with your own life and the circumstances taking place within your little bubble?

What is pretty awesome though is that He is a patient God. He is willing to give the time needed for us to grow. I have a long, long way to go in order to get rid of my cynical outlook on life and people, but every day that I am taking in breath is a day that I can lean on God to change that outlook.

Grasp Grace

2011-09-14T23:32:00.002-04:00

Philippians 2:5-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,^[a] ⁶ who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,^[b] being born in the likeness of men.

We talked pretty in depth last time about the first part of verse 6; the fact that Jesus is God. I'm hoping that we all came to the same conclusion about the Deity of Jesus. If not, then these next things that we concentrate on will not make any sense.

So, let's jump in like this.

Let's say that you have everything you could ever ask for; sitting in the lap of luxury. Money is not an option - anything you wanted, you can have at the snap of a finger. You control everything you touch or think about. If the temperature is too hot, you can cool things down; too dark, you can brighten things up.

You have a ton of children, more than you can even fathom having. They mean everything to you; more than anything you own or have control over. They are your choice possession. You give each one of them 1 simple rule to follow as soon as they are old enough to understand. Each one, every single one, choose not to follow your rule, so as a result, they are kicked out and forced to live on their own. Each one, on his own, gets into trouble and is put on death row.

Each is sentenced to die a horrible death with only one hope. That hope is you. If you would come and die in their place, each one would have the option to live. I say option because the hope of their life would actually be acknowledging your sacrifice with a repentant attitude for breaking the rule you had set for them. Without recognizing you as their only chance, death would still meet them.

Now, knowing that most would never acknowledge what you would do for them, would you still go? Leaving everything behind for the few, would you still go and take on the humiliating image of a criminal and die for something you did not do?

On a much greater scale, Jesus did just that. He did not count equality with God as something to be grasped; as something to be held onto; as something to hold over people, but instead he became nothing, born in the feeding tray for animals in a stable, taking on the form of a servant to grant us grace that we certainly do not deserve, knowing that most would reject him. He did that for me, and He did it for you. Do you recognize Him?

What are we doing with that grace? Do we really grasp it? Do we truly understand it? If we do, are we sharing that grace with the world?

Is Jesus God?

2011-08-30T00:11:00.000-04:00

Philippians 2:5-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

What an unbelievable look into the heart of God, as Paul reminds us of the example given to us by Jesus. He is talking to the church - the true church, not necessarily the people who show up to a service on any given Sunday. He is giving insight here by essentially saying - if you really strive to be like Christ, make sure you understand who He his and what His life exemplified.

⁶ who, though he was in the form of God... The New Living Translation does a great job of taking this section of the verse and breaking it down to the nuts and bolts by saying 'Though He was God'. This is something that other major world religions cannot wrap their heads around. JW's believe that the Bible teaches that Jesus is the subserviant Son of God, not God. (Link will take you to a page written by a Jehovah's Witness.) Here is another link written by former JW's that does a good job in showing inconsistencies with their former belief system. You can Google what other major world religions as well, but remember, this text was intended to help those who have placed their faith in Christ.

John's gospel does a great job of clearly laying out exactly who Jesus is.

John 1

New International Version (NIV)

¹ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. So, before anything, God was there, as was His word. The first book of the Bible, Genesis, shows that God spoke creation into existence. His Word is synonymous with who He is; and the Word was God. Because His Word is synonymous with Himself, His word is true.

¹⁴ The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only,^[a] who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. This speaks clearly that God became man and came to live among us; Jesus. But how do we be sure it is Jesus that John is referring to?

John 14:6

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. This is one of the great 'I am' statements from Jesus recorded in this Gospel. He makes a few very bold claims here. 1.)He is the way to heaven. Notice, not a way but the way. I emphasize this because there is a lot talk stating there are many roads to heaven, but the Bible contradicts that thought. 2.) He is the truth, which links himself to the Word; to God. And if we believe him to be the True Word of God, then we can believe his statement of being the only way to heaven. 3.) He is the life, both life eternal, as well as life now. We are able to live a more fulfilled life when we live knowing the purpose of our life, and the teller of our purpose must be God. Also, eternal life as stated at the end of this verse, comes through Jesus. The father, who is in heaven (see the lord's prayer) is only accessible through a relationship with Jesus.

There is a lot of stuff out there that will tell you what you should think and how you should believe. Always be cautious with who you allow to speak into your life, remembering Proverbs 14:12 as well as 16:25. Be sure to click these links and study further into the things that I or anyone else writes or speaks to you about God. There will be a day that you will stand before him, and you will have to answer for yourself.

With this information, we now have the opportunity to believe one of two options. We can believe that Jesus is who He says He is; God, or He's a complete lunatic. I mean, you can't say you are God and be a good moral teacher because your whole teaching will be based on a lie, so which is it? Is Jesus God? If so, can you trust Him enough to follow him? If He is trustworthy, then will you follow Him, wherever He leads you?

My Brother's Keeper

2011-08-18T21:50:00.013-04:00

Philippians 2:1-4:

1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I really was having a hard time coming up with a way to get back into this study on the book of Philippians. I just couldn't think of a way to really explain what I think this first section is really saying, until I heard this song while driving down the highway.

As I was listening to the song, the line that kept coming back to me was,"and I'll be my brother's keeper, and the whole world will know that we're not alone." Keep this in the front of your mind.

The first word of this chapter, 'therefore,' ties the beginning of chapter 2 with the end of chapter 1. So we ended the last section talking about suffering for Christ's sake and living a life worthy of the Gospel. Anyone who has walked the walk for any period of time knows that it can be really tough and confusing at times, so what Paul was saying that in the midst of all of that you can find encouragement and comfort in unity with Christ, when we take on the same attitude for others that He has ...in humility value others above yourself. When we have that attitude we won't start saying poor me when things get rough.

This is one of those areas where I am blown away by God's plan; the perfection of it. Not only will the believer find comfort from God, but through the believer the world will get a view of God's love, which gives the opportunity for the world to accept it, finding comfort for themselves.

Now, look at the second part of that line from the song - 'and the whole world will know that we're not alone.' By being my brother's keeper; watching out for people; loving people regardless if they love us back or not, the world will know we are not alone, that there is a God. But is that a biblical thought or just a clever lyric?

There are probably a number of passages we could pull from that would explain this sufficiently, but none rings truer to me than John 13. This is Jesus' last night before his arrest. He takes the form of a servant and washes the feet of his disciples, teaching that he came to serve, not be served. Saying essentially that we need to stop worrying about how we look to the world, our status in society, and start thinking about our neighbors. When we jump down a bit to verse 34-35 Jesus explains that it is this very love that we have for each other that will show the world that we are His disciples. This life of thinking of others before ourselves will display the love of God to all those who see it.

So am I my brother's keeper? Or do I have the same attitude that Cain had for Abel, thinking of myself and letting jealousy and pride destroy those around me?

Review and Prepare

2011-08-12T20:34:00.001-04:00

In chapter 1 of Phillipians, Paul does an amazing job of encouraging us to follow Christ, regardless of what it costs - ...to live is Christ and to die is gain...

As we move into the next chapter, lets take a little time to prepare. In the weeks to come, we are going to see Paul get real practical in telling us how we can follow the Lord. In fact - by the time we get to verse 6, we see where he brings in the example of Jesus, which again ties back to the last post I put up about where our focus needs to be.

So, as a practical exercise, before we move back into our study in Philppians, lets take a few days to re-adjust our focus, if needed. Spend time in prayer, particularly confessing to the Lord how we may have allowed our focus to shift, and then, on your own, read through and study John 15. (Re)Learn what Jesus himself teaches here about where our focus needs to be through one of my favorite passages in the Bible; the parable of the vine. Also, review chapter 1 seeing as it's been a bit of time since we've gone through it, and also read through chapter 2 as a way of preparing for this next section of the study.

As you spend time this week, please think about maybe taking the leap to comment or ask a question or give testimony as we go through this stuff. I have found that when more people engage in study, more people get out of it. I would really enjoy hearing from you and learning through you too.

Where is my Focus?

2011-08-07T14:33:00.004-04:00

It has been quite some time since I have posted anything on this blog, and for good reason really. After my last publish, my wife looked at me with concern and said, "you sound really angry with the things you are saying." With a little time of thinking about what she said, I realized that Ang was right and that I needed to take a break.

It was this morning at church that I believe God really showed me the reason for my approach to the things I was saying. Mind you, I believe that my message was accurate, but my delivery lacked the very thing that Jesus gave us on the cross; grace. Today in church, our pastor talked about the cost associated with being a follower of Christ, taken from Luke 14:25-33. Pastor Tim referenced a verse within the teaching from 1 Peter that brought this whole thing to light for me. The scripture talks about being prepared to defend your beliefs and answer a question, but if you notice the last part of the verse, it states that we do so with respect and to do it gently. So please forgive me and realize that I'm just a guy who's still trying to figure this whole thing out.

So, with all that being said, I would like to explain what I think happened by taking a look at 1 Corinthians 9:24.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

I think this is one of those verses that we just jump past at times, not really understanding the depth of it. It looks really simple, but I think our lack of understanding of this verse, and others like it, have contributed to the church in North America becoming mute in our society. We need to have a fundamental understanding of what the prize is that Paul is talking about here, and when we do have that understanding and we are living in that understanding, that our lives - not our mouths - will answer the age old question; "what is the meaning of life?"

I've heard this passage taught on a couple of occassions in the past. The question we need to ask is, "What is the prize that Paul is talking about?" I think the most common answer is 'Heaven'. There is a problem with this being the answer though, and I will do my best to explain myself here. The moment we are saved; that we ask God to forgive us, that we recognize Jesus as both savior and Lord, and ask Him (God) to take part in our lives through the power of the Holy Spirit; at that very moment we are guaranteed Heaven. If Heaven were to be the prize that Paul said we need to focus on, wouldn't we always be looking back to the moment we are are saved? In fact in a verse in Philippians which really parallels this teaching, Paul talks about forgetting what is behind him, straining toward what is ahead. In a practical sence, anyone who races in any way knows that in order to race successfully you have to keep your eyes ahead of you at all times, never looking behind because of what it does to your focus.

So if that's the case, what in the world is the prize that Paul is talking about? It is something that we will never actually attain here in this life, but only when we get to Heaven. The prize is Christ-Likeness, to be without sin. Our focus is Jesus.

It's like any relationship, the more we hang out with someone, the more we become like that person. It is why my wife and I are able to finish each others sentences or how I know what she is talking about when she blurts out a random thought that the average person would say came from nowhere. It is why my sense of humor seems to be very similar to that of the guys I hang out with. When our focus is on Jesus, we will instinctively become more like Him in the way we deal with people and we deal with life's circumstances. It is us being more like Jesus that attracts people to Him. When our lives fail to attract people to Him, even when we are talking about Him to others, it really is time that we evaluate where we are in our relationship with Christ.

So needless to say, my focus was not on Christ, so the frustrations I was feeling around the time of my last post with the church did nothing to attract people to Jesus. All that was probably heard were my frustrations, which probably did nothing but hurt the church in the long run.

Suffer for His Sake

2011-02-14T15:29:00.002-05:00

PHILIPPIANS 1:27-30

[27] Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, [28] and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. [29] For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, [30] engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have.

(Philippians 1:27-30 ESV)

Well, that kind of spits in the face of the "happy-go-lucky life" that so many in the church in America are following, doesn't it? What Paul states here (v.29) is that our belief will be realized by others when we suffer for the sake of Christ. MacArthur breaks it down well in that audio blog that it not suffering for what we do that is wrong, because that is just discipline, but suffering when we do what God calls us to do. We don't hear a whole lot of that going on here in the states, do we? We are more concerned with programs that we can put together and buildings we can construct that can house more people for an hour each week than we are concerned with suffering for His sake. But not only are we to suffer, but we are to do it without fear (v.28) - because that is what makes it a clear sign to them, those who do not believe, of their coming destruction, as well as the fact that salvation is something that can only come from God. Crazy stuff, but these verses really indicate a major problem with the church in America. I posted a video a while back talking about the lukewarm church that worked alongside with other circumstances and books and preaching that really started to flip my world around with what I was doing and what I was getting involved with. You read things like newsletters from voice of the martyrs and recognize that there is still persecution in the world like that stuff we see in the book of Acts and we, for all intents and purposes look the other way and ignore it. I'm scared; scared for all of us who are living in the riches of America and are blinded from this Gospel that we say we believe; Where we lie to ourselves and think that if we say the right words and are "nice people" and teach our kids not to use bad words that we are living Christ-like lives.

Yeah - all that stuff is good stuff, and it all does point in the right direction, but to be honest with you, I know a lot of people who boldly proclaim that they do NOT believe in or follow Jesus who are nicer than most people I go to church with. I'm not saying that to dog the people I go to church with, but use the example to make a point that outward appearances don't - by itself - point to Jesus.

Well, that's pretty confusing, you say, because on the last post, I pointed to the first line of verse 27 and said that above all, let your conduct be worthy of the Gospel. Yeah, that is confusing because at first glance we can look at it to say that our actions are what qualify us in the eyes of God. I think what it points to more than anything is the fact that you can say you believe just about anything, but if your life doesn't reflect what it is you say you believe, then you will disqualify yourself in the eyes of the world. So our conduct is evidence of our beliefs, right? I can say I believe Jesus is the way the truth and the life, but if I spend my week-end nights tripping over my drunken feet at the local strip-joint..., well that tells the real truth, doesn't it.

So we have to walk the talk, or in other words, be doers of the word, not hearers only, deceiving ourselves. Because if we sit back and take in the word (the talk), and never spend any time applying it (the walk), then we are fooling ourselves in thinking that we are something we are not. What a waste that would be! Imagine spending your entire life thinking you are following God, and then having Jesus say "depart from me, for I never knew you."

Check out these statements in 1 John:

What we know – from 1 John

We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. (1 John 2:3)

This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did. (1 John2:5b-6)

Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour. (1 John 2:18 +)

But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. (1 John 3: 2b-3)

Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him. (1 John 3:4-6)

This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother. (1 John 3:10)

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. (1 John 3:14-15)

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:16-18)

This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

(1 John 3:19-20)

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. (1 John 3:21-24)

This is how we know that we love the children of God; by loving God and carrying out his commands.

(1 John 5:2)

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. (1 John 5:13)

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.

(1 John 5:14-15)

We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them. (1 John 5:18)

We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under control of the evil one.(1 John 5:19)

We know also that the son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true by being in his son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

(1 John 5:20)

I know that added a lot of ink to this page, but I found it pretty convicting and wanted to share it with you that you may be able to spend some time in quiet evaluation of where you stand and where you may need to make any adjustments.

I wanted to end this chapter with something practical, and kind of along the same lines. When we look at Jesus's preaching, we hear him teaching more times about money than any other area, and he does so because he wants us free from the grasp that the almighty dollar has on us. Listen to this, and then ask yourself if what he is saying is valid. I think if you are honest, you will say it is. The hard part will be when you say you are willing to live that way...

Conduct becoming of Christ

2010-12-16T14:54:00.001-05:00

²⁷ Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of your affairs, that you stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel, (Philippians 1:27, New King James Version)

"Watch your thoughts;

they become words.

Watch your words;

they become actions.

Watch your actions;

they become habits.

Watch your habits;

they become character.

Watch your character;

it becomes your destiny."

- Frank Outlaw

I have an app on my phone that will give me a daily Bible verse, devotion, and my favorite; a daily quote. I got this quote on the 14th, and I think I have looked at it at least 10 times. What amazing truth! I think this is exactly what Paul was getting at as exhorted the people of Philippi at the end of this first chapter.

He starts this passage with the word 'Only'; other translations start it by saying 'Above all' - which means that our conduct is important - some would argue that it is the most important thing in the Christian journey. Why would that be? Why is it so important what I do, especially during those periods where there is no-one there that even knows I'm a Christian; or to take it a step further, when I am by myself! If nobody is there that knows I'm a Christian - or even if nobody is there at all, then who really cares what I say or what I do?

As Jesus left us, he gave us a command to go and make disciples or followers of Him. We could go through verse after verse of where Jesus shows us in the Gospels that he cares more about our heart than our physical actions. We see it when he raises the bar from adultery to lust and murder to anger. Both anger and lust are matters of the heart, and what Jesus was showing us here, as well as throughout his entire public ministry, is that if we can get a handle on our heart problems, then the physical issues will never be manifested. If I don't have a lust issue, I will not commit adultery, and the same is true of anger.

I have found that this is especially difficult when, as a Christian, I go into the world to live out that Matthew 28 command. I have found myself falling into the trap of wanting to relate to those around me and in doing so have become much like them. So it's imperative that we take what Romans 12 says and find ways to make it happen.

¹ I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. ² And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:1-2, New King James Version)

How do we do that - how do we transform our minds and not conform to the world around us, while we are still to be in the world? Great question and to be honest I am continually finding answers for it. I go through periods where I engross myself in the word and other times I go through periods where I calm down on what I read and study for the fact that I can become legalistic in my attitude. During those periods I tend to concentrate more on service or relationships with those around me or closest to me. There is a path for us to take, and I think it is constantly being worked out in us as we work out our salvation. I think that is the journey that we all take, and it is personal to each of us. God grows us in His timing. Some believe that we there through concentrating solely on who we are in Christ, while others find it through knowledge of who God is and His character. So, no, I really cannot answer that question for you, but do want you to encourage you to work it out as God leads you. Check out this passage that Peter wrote in one of his letters,and understand that it is not a road map where you finish one attribute and move on to the next, but all character qualities are to be worked out as we progress more in the likeness of Christ.

⁵ But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, ⁶ to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, ⁷ to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. (2 Peter 1:5-7, New King James Version)

...and to die is gain.

2010-12-05T16:44:00.002-05:00

   In Loving Memory of Hank Pasko
   Nov 7 1944 - Nov 29 2010
   Loving Dad, Pa-Paw, Father-in-Law

Revelation 21:4 (New King James Version)

⁴ And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

I consider myself privileged that I got to spend the last 10+ years around my father-in-law Hank Pasko. I will continue to learn from the life he lead and try to emulate what he found to be most important; joy in the relationships he had. Everyone who knew him was touched with something, especially those who knew him around Christmas time. He will be missed by all who knew him, but for all who know Christ, this last Monday was not a 'good-bye', but a 'see ya later!'

This is a song my wife found the night before her Dad passed. God is good. He speaks in so many ways.

To Live is Christ

2010-10-30T22:09:00.006-04:00

What does it mean when Paul says, to live is Christ? I don't think I'm really qualified for this one because to understand it completely would be to have lived through some of the challenges that Paul did. He had stared death in the eyes more than once, so he understood what it meant to have another chance at life. I have not been in a situation where I recognized death as a real possibility. True, death has probably knocked on my door a few times in life (drinking and driving, driving under the influence of drugs, walking over 12 miles in a snow storm {don't remember most of it due to being drunk}, jumping out of perfectly good airplanes over 30 times, etc.), but the key to the statement is that I didn't recognize death being so close, therefore, surviving the situations didn't leave me any more appreciative for life. My dad, on the other hand, has had a couple situations.

He has gone through a few really tough medical situations in recent years. There was a time a few years back where he had a major seizure while on an exercise bike at the gym. Not too long after that he was in a severe car accident; no other cars involved thankfully.

Once released from the hospital, he was at home and suffered from a stroke which caused one side of his face to droop. God, in His grace, restored my dad's face and you cannot tell that he ever had a stroke. Awesome!

But in talking with Dad, he said that the stroke was obviously tough, but it was the heart bypass surgery that was the most impactful experience he has had. He said a couple things that really rang as the Truth of God as he was explaining the experience to me. He recalled a conversation with a man before the surgery. That man had said something about the fact that my dad seemed "OK" with everything, that he seemed to be at peace. Rings true of Philippians 4:7, wouldn't you say? The man said, "you must believe in a higher power?" Dad's response to this man was, "yeah, I know the Lord. If I make it through, great! If not, then I will be going somewhere better." Wow. Not sure if my Dad even realizes that he had the same attitude that Paul had in our next verse of scripture that we are looking at; Philippians 1:21.

I asked Dad what it felt like to go through that experience and to be given, in a nutshell, an extension on life. He started off by saying that he was obviously grateful and thankful and that he realized that he can no longer take life for granted, but then he said something that was awesome. He recollected that he was highly medicated while recovering in the hospital and everything was kind of hazy, but it was when he got home that it all came together for him. He realized that it was not going to be an easy recovery; that it was going to take some work on his part. He had a choice to make, he could either give up or fight.

Let that sink in for a second please, and then re-read the scripture we are looking at.

...To live is Christ...

I believe this is what Paul was getting at exactly. To die would be gain, it would be some place better (Dad's words), but to live would be Christ. In reading some commentary I learned that this statement in the original Greek was actually verbless (no verb). So the literal translation would be ...to live Christ... Read and re-read the gospels often and then, PLEASE, conclude for yourself that Jesus did not come so that you could be wealthy, healthy, comfortable, and rich. He came to provide the way for you to get to heaven. Look at his life. Was it easy for Jesus? Did he continually lounge at large dinner parties experiencing the finer things of life, or did he live it in the gutter with the people who needed Him most? He was labeled as the friend of sinners. He does not promise us ease in life. But he does offer us peace in those hard times.

Like Dad's recovery, it takes work to live Christ. It has its rewards, but not the ones that society says we should pursue. Thanks Dad. I couldn't have learned that one on my own yet.

To be Bold or not?

2010-10-20T22:47:00.004-04:00

Who would you feel more comfortable sitting under? A teacher who is an encourager, one who is always talking about the good you do, or would you rather sit under a teacher who is an exhorter, one who is continually showing you where you need to improve? I guess it's an easy question, really. I asked where you would feel more comfortable, so the obvious answer is the encourager. They help us feel better about ourselves, and we feel comfortable. I want to raise an eyebrow here though and say this; is encouragement enough? Comfort is good, but the problem with comfort is that it breeds stagnation. Being creatures of habit, we tend to stay where we are comfortable, well, because it's comfortable. The problem with this is something that we will get into as we look at Chapter 3 of Philippians, but in a nutshell it talks about the growth process of a Christian. If we remain in the place of comfort, we will bring that growth to a halt - or at best, a snails pace.

But do we really want to sit under someone who is constantly putting us down? Someone who makes us feel that no matter what we do, we just can't seem to live up? Absolutely not. We were not saved to feel condemned!

There needs to be a balance between the two. If you notice how Paul wrote his epistles, each (except one) start with Paul encouraging the people he was writing to, then he went into the problems that required a change of heart. The only letter he wrote that did not have a message of encouragement at the beginning was the book of Galations. This was a cyclical letter (one that was to be handed between the churches in the region that is now Turkey) that was very serious in nature and he obviously felt that the message being delivered did not merit the formalities that he was accustomed to writing.

I think this is the reason why Paul shared his heart here in the next line, Philippians 1:20. He was a guy, a human. He was just like we are. I think it meant a lot to him to have people agree with him, that his peers like him. I have never met a person who craved to be disliked. I think he understood that if he maybe lost a little focus and delivered a message that people liked, that he, like anyone out there, would be tempted to continue with messages that would get that same response. I think this is why he paralleled his boldness with shame. He understood the message that God had given him to deliver, and if he failed to deliver it, he would be ashamed.

So how does this speak to me, you ask? Well, I stated in the last post that I am no Paul, and that is the absolute truth. I seriously lack the balance that Paul had. I do my best to encourage people, but it really does not come naturally. That is not where God gifted me at all. What does seem to more my bent is the exhortation side. I have always been this way. I tend to put expectations on people that say they should act what they say they believe. This isn't necessarily a wrong thing, but when not balanced with encouragement and love, it will never be received. It just comes across as judgment, and that definitely ain't my job.

Joy in Ministry

2010-10-14T21:17:00.047-04:00

How is that some seem to get stronger when obstacles get thrown in their way?

As we look at Paul in this next section, we see this very thing. He understands that the Gospel is not about him; not about his comfort; it is about Christ and the pushing forward of the Good News. He makes a very bold statement here that should serve as an example for all christians, especially me. He says "...what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel."

It doesn't seem to bother Paul what people think of him. The only thing that matters to him is that he is true to the Gospel.

If you take a look at the next couple of verses, Paul makes it clear that there are people out there who will take advantage of a situation for personal reasons.

In MacArthur's commentary, he goes to say that this text makes it clear that difficult, unpleasant, painful, even life-threatening circumstances did not rob him of joy, but rather caused it to increase. He goes on to say that joy is not a constant and that a certain cause for loss of joy in a believer's life is sin. A list of sins, which I think was meant to link with the context of this scripture, is given: dissatisfaction, bitterness, sullenness, doubt, fear, and negativism. These can all cause joy to be forfeited. (This is why I love MacArthur - he says what he means and means what he says - nothing is gray)

If we look at that list, we can easily see how Paul could have felt any or all of those things because of his circumstances at that time, but he chose not to. MacArthur, in that same paragraph that I just quoted from went on to say that this was a sign of maturity.

Now, I wish I could explain how close to home this hit for me this week. In fact, it landed right in my back yard. I'm not going to bore you with the details of why this spoke to me, but use it as an example of how God speaks.

His Word, the Bible, is truth. I have not worked on this Philippians study for a couple months now. I was stuck on a message that God has been working in me and wasn't ready to move beyond that until recently, and it was a conversation with my wife that I had tonight about some circumstances going on that made me want to search a bit deeper. It does not surprise me at all that God spoke to me in this tonight, that He took the time to show me that I have a lot of room for growth, that I am no Paul! But that's cool, cause I don't think God wants me to be anyone other than me. He knows exactly where I am at all times and will always be there to show me what's next.

He does the same for you too.

God is GOOD

2010-08-07T15:11:00.006-04:00

I can't seem to get it out of my mind. I read it about a week ago in a study that I have been previewing, and it has caused my mind to shift a bit. I have realized that I have been spending a lot of time on this blog talking to the "christian", yet not providing the person that is not a christian any info about what is involved with becoming a christian. In fact there are probably a good deal of people who show up in church buildings each week that think they are christians, yet are not.

Check this out, and spend a bit of time evaluating where you stand.

There is passage, James 1:22, that basically says, man, if you aren't doing the things, applying the things, that you hear the Sunday morning preacher/teacher/priest talking about, then you are fooling yourself into thinking that you are a follower of Christ. Check out Jesus' words in the Gospel of Matthew. He basically says that everyone who calls me Lord is not necessarily a follower of mine. People will even say things like, 'but didn't I did this and did that in your name?', Jesus will respond by saying, 'get away from me - I never knew you!'

I know it sounds harsh, some would even argue that it is unloving.

Watch the video that I linked again.

We need to understand that God is a God of relationship. Realize, what Jesus responded to the doer - '...I never knew you'. He wants to know us. More than that really, He wants us to know Him. It's the same thing with your spouse, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Do they feel loved when you just do stuff for them, or does that love grow when the two of you really know what makes the other tick. When you know what they are thinking just my looking at them, or when you finish each other's sentences. Same thing with God, He wants that kind of relationship with us, that we know Him in such a way that we start emulating His character in our lives.

I am probably going to be taking a hiatus from the Philippians study for a bit so that I can create a page that might lay out God's plan for salvation from the fall of man in Genesis through Christ's death on the cross. I hope to unpack it in a way that will point to the Bible every step of the way, yet in every day language.

In the meantime, please take the time to evaluate yourself and determine whether or not you are who you think you are in Christ, or if maybe you have deceived yourself.

If you come to the conclusion after some time of looking in the mirror that you really do not have a relationship with God through Christ, no worries. It isn't too late. Jesus told a story about an owner of a field who needed help with the harvest. He hired some people at the beginning of the day, others mid-morning and early-afternoon, and even some right at the very end of the day. When it was time to call it a day, the owner called all the workers together, and he paid them each a day's wage for their work; even the ones who were hired on at the very end of the day.

This should give us all hope that it is not too late. All of us who come to know Christ, whether it be very early in life or on our death bed, will each receive salvation. It is never too late, and there is never anything that you may have done that will disqualify you from this free gift of God. God is GOOD!

Why Pray?

2010-07-14T15:04:00.002-04:00

What is the evidence of a true believer in the Gospel? It is fruit. Paul explains this when he tells us of the fruit of the spirit. The first of these fruit is love. Jesus also explains the greatest of the commandments is to love God and then to love man. Jesus even says that the world (non-believers) will know that we are his disciples by our love for one another.
But what does it mean to love? We use the word so much that it completely looses its meaning; I love hotdogs at the ballpark and I love my wife and kids. You see my point. So is Jesus talking about a hotdog kind of love or a family type of love? He actually takes it to a whole new level.

The original language of the New Testament is Koine Greek. It is a much more descriptive language than even American English. It had a few different words for love. There is every man’s favorite form of the word, eros, which as I’m sure you can conclude is where we get the word erotic from. There is the word storge. This is like a natural affection that we might have for someone in our family, like a son or a daughter. A very common word used was philia. This is where we derived the name for the city of Philadelphia; the city of brotherly love. It is kind of like a partnership type of love. Philia would be the kind of love that I would have thought Jesus was talking about if had to guess, but it is not. With him came a new form of love called agape. This is a God like kind of love; how God loves us.

Paul gives us a glimpse of that kind of love here at the beginning of Philippians. It is subtle, but is key to understanding a major theme of this letter: contentment and joy. If we look at his letter that he wrote to the Corinthian church, we see that he gives us a layout of what it means to love; agape.

Paul’s example here is his prayer for the Philippian church. He is considering them as more important than himself. He is sitting in a dungy prison cell chained to a guard and he is talking about his prayer for them; that he thinks of them often. He isn't caught up in what is happening to him, he is thinking about the people he come in contact with during life, and his prayer and concern is for them and their pushing forward with the Gospel. Pretty selfless if you ask me...

When asked one time, “What is the opposite of love, Chris?” I quickly answered, “Hate!” “No I’m sorry Chris that is not correct. You see, to love someone is to put them before you. Their needs come before your needs; their wants come before your wants. The opposite of love, Chris, is selfishness.”

Do our thoughts always encircle ourselves? How will I benefit from this? What is in it for me? I can’t believe he/she did that to me? Why did they get promoted and I didn’t? We need to evaluate ourselves by those standards – not so much what we do on the outside, but where we see our thought patterns – and determine if we are living up to this command that Jesus said was alongside the greatest, and the one in which all others hang from. I think a good way to determine that is by looking at how we pray. If we don’t pray at all, well then we have a bigger fish to fry, don’t we?

I remember...

2010-06-27T23:34:00.002-04:00

I thank my God every time I remember you. This was Paul's opening statement to the church at Philippi. To understand the depth of that statement, it is important that we understand the context in which it was written. This is not some run of the mill encounter like we have with old friends from the past where we say, "hey it's great to see you! We should do lunch sometime..." All the while both parties are pretty certain that the lunch date will never come to fruition.

Paul's circumstances at the time he wrote this letter were dire. He was imprisoned in Rome, possibly facing execution. As it turned out, he was released from this imprisonment, but he was not certain that would be the case when he wrote this letter. He was under house arrest and chained to a Roman soldier to prevent any possibility of escape. (This paragraph from John MacArthur's commentary)

So in the midst of possible death, how is it that Paul would start this note with a state of thanksgiving? If it were me, I would start it with something like this: Hey, it's me Chris. I'm still alive, but I don't really know for how long. The letter would probably be about me, not about them. So what's the deal. What do we learn from Paul here? What was I getting at with those last two posts I put up a while back? Let's start there and then move over to Paul.

In the Joy of Remembering I talked about the moment that I fell in love with my wife Angela. Now, when things start going bad in a relationship, where do our thoughts naturally go? They go to that circumstance that went bad, right? What I was getting at with that post is that we need to discipline ourselves go beyond the bad parts and remember what attracted us to that person in the first place. A marriage is the easiest example because there isn't perfect one out there. Things are going to go bad from time to time, but when we dwell on only the bad, that bad will quickly get worse. If we forget the circumstance for a second and remember what it is that we love about that person, it will be much easier to say 'I'm sorry', whether you believe you are at fault or not. I need to take some of my own advice on this one.

In the Joy in Sharing I talked about how I came home to hear my wife sharing testimony about how God has moved in her life and in the life of our family. This here is an important tool that is needed in order to be content with whatever life throws your way. At the end of that post I shared about some testing that needed to be done with our 4 year old and in the midst of that heart breaking news she breaks out into conversation about past circumstances that God has brought us through. What this did, besides sharing the love of Christ with another, was remind my wife (and me as a listener of the conversation) that in past circumstances when we did not see God at work, that He actually was working something out all along. It reminded us that even though we don't understand some things going on right now, that he in the midst of it all, and He, being perfection, does not make any mistakes. He is God.

That is what I believe Paul was doing here as well. Here he is, imprisoned again, like he was on his first visit with his friends in Philippi. He remembered how God came through in a miraculous way for he and Silas once before, and if He chose, could do so again. But as we will see as we dive deeper into this study, Paul's hope and faith were not contingent on how comfortable he was, but it was on receiving the prize. Much more to come on that later on down the road.

So here is my challenge to you. If you are not a Christian, I want to encourage you to stick with this study. It'll take a bit of time to go through the entire book of Philippians, but hey, you're here right now and it doesn't take all that much time to read through this. I want to up the anty a bit though. What I want you to do is say a prayer before you sit to read posts on this blog. Something quick, like: God, if you're real, please make yourself real to me.

For those of you who are Christians, I want you to spend a few minutes and remember. If you're not getting along with a loved one, remember what it is about them that brought you together in the first place. If you are going through a tough time right now, I want you to remember back to a different tough time and the good that God may have brought out of that. If you would, please hit the comment button and share it with us as well. We could all use the encouragement!

The Joy in Sharing

2010-05-19T21:30:00.004-04:00

I walked in the house tonight after doing my very favorite thing in the world. I had just finished rehearsal where I got to play drums for over an hour and a half, creating music with other musicians and vocalists. Nothing moves me more; almost nothing.

As I walked through the door, I saw my wife on the phone. Not wanting to disturb her, I whispered "who ya talkin to?" She told me who it was; another Mom from our oldest son's karate class. As I listened in, I heard as my wife shared testimony after testimony of how God has worked in the lives of our family. This is what moves me most in life; the possibililty that someone is hearing the Gospel, listening intently and asking questions, and may come to know what I now know to be true.

Although hearing the Gospel being shared is what moves me most, there was something even more special about tonight's witness. The conversation was rooted in uncertainty in our lives, the lives of the Nix family. The call came in to ask Angela if she was doing OK with some news we got about our son Jonathan, and that very uncertainty was turned into opportunity.

My wife took our 4 year old into see his pediatrician for an evaluation that we had requested. We, Ang and I, have been monitoring Jonathan for quite some time now and we believe that he is not developing as he should. We see many signs and symptoms of Aspergers. The pediatrician, not being an expert in this field did the only thing he could do; refer us to a specialist. But the words he used are what have brought on the uncertainty; the unknown. "I see definite reason for your concern." Now we wait.

So, without going any further at this point, I ask you this again. What in the world does this, my wife sharing as she did in the midst of possible life changing news, have to do with the Bible, specifically the book we are studying, Philippians?

The Joy of Remembering

2010-05-10T17:26:00.001-04:00

I remember the exact moment I first fell in love with my wife. It kind of scared me because we were only a few weeks to a month into our dating relationship. I took her out to dinner at Denny's. I was quite the big spender back then. At least I've grown up now right; I mean now I fork out the big bucks and take her to IHOP. Luckily for me, Ang does not relate my feelings for her by the amount I spend. She is all about time; quality time.

After I scarfed down my Grand Slam and she her Sampler (I'm guessing that's what we ate - pretty typical meal for us back then), we started to walk out the door. Just then, Ang stopped and her eyes grew big. There, sitting right in front of her was one of those machines that you win a stuffed animal in. You know the ones; has a claw that you have to navigate to the prize of your choice. Once you find that dream animal (I have to say - I don't get the love for these things at all) you press a button and the claw releases and descends to that fake furry creature. If you're lucky enough - I do not believe there is any skill to this at all - the claw will catch on to this complete waste of money and bring it to you!

Well, Ang eyeballed her prize and proceeded to give away her quarters. As she was in the middle of round 1 or round 2 - I cannot remember - a little boy and his Mom came up behind Ang and pointed, saying "I want that one Mommy!" At this point, I was expecting my girlfriend (at that time) to step aside and let this kid give it a shot. Well, she didn't. Without even acknowledging the boy, she stuffed in a couple more quarters and started making attempts at the prize that was pointed out by the youth.

I was embarrassed. I saw as the boy gave his Mom a very disappointed look when he noticed that he may not get a shot at his dream animal, and I saw as the Mom returned his look with a shrug and a bit of irritation.

Ang's luck was not great for the first few attempts, and I remember seeing her actually getting a little frustrated that she wasn't able to get that thing. I remember thinking to myself, "I cannot believe that she is competing with a toddler!" Then, with her next quarter, she drops the medal claw over that little blue (I think) animals head, and as it started its ascent, it caught on. Not sure what it grabbed, but before we knew it, that animal was soaring to freedom. Ang got a bit gitty for a second, and then calmed herself down. I felt so disappointed for the child. She opened the little slot and pulled out her prize. Without a second glance at the lifeless creature, she turned to the boy and said, "here you go sweetie". That kid's eyes got as big as beech balls as he grabbed onto the precous animal. He looked at his Mom like he would have on Christmas Day, and Mom returned the smile. Ang just stood up straight and headed for the door.

I saw a part of her that just made me melt. I looked again at the little boy, overjoyed with his new free gift, and turned to follow my girl out of the restaurant. It was that very moment that I knew there was something very special about Angela Pasko.

Now, why in the world would I tell this story at the beginning of this study on Philippians? How in the world could a story about how the love for my wife first came to fruition have anything to do with the Bible?

In Closing...

2010-04-15T09:26:00.006-04:00

This'll probably be a bit lengthy, but we are finally going to close out of Acts 16, and hopefully move forward - if I can keep some form of focus about me. I will get into that in a bit.

What we see in the closing of this chapter is the release of Paul and Silas from the prison in Philippi. Once the dust settled from the great earthquake that shook the jail to its foundation, the city officials sent word to the jailer that the two could be released, that they could go in peace.

Check out what Paul said to the officers (I love this)! "But Paul replied, "They have publicly beaten us without a trial and put us in prison - and we are Roman citizens. So now they want us to leave secretly? Certainly not! Let them come themselves to release us!"

So the officers sent this message back to the magistrates. Why didn’t Paul just take the freedom quietly and go? I mean - wouldn’t that be what you would do? Not this guy, no. He wanted to teach the officials a lesson. I mentioned in one of the early posts on this study about Paul’s Roman citizenship, but didn’t get into the details regarding its importance. Let’s get into that now. Before Paul and Silas were thrown into jail, they were stripped and beaten. It was against Roman law at that time to whip a Roman citizen, which would have put these city leaders in quite a bad spot in the eyes of Rome. It was because of this that it says that as soon as the magistrates heard that they were Roman Citizens, they were alarmed. They then went to the jail and escorted the two out and asked them to leave Philippi.

This is what I love about Paul’s example. His life shows time and time again that he cares more about other people than he does about himself. There was a good chance that when Paul said he would not leave the jail quietly that the officials would have said, "well, forget you then. Rot in jail for all we care!" Paul wanted to teach a lesson that it was not OK to persecute Christians. It was imperative that they have all the facts before sentencing, and the need for a fair trial was of the utmost importance. Paul and Silas could have easily gone back to Rome to report the injustice that was done to them, but their heart was not about revenge, it was about pushing the gospel forward.

What that tells me is this; we are to confront wrong always, but we must do it in a way that does not judge. We see "Christians" today confronting wrong all over the place with signs saying that if you have an abortion you are going to burn in hell; that if you support the war in the middle east in any capacity that you are to be condemned and your name slandered, etc. Not quite a non-judgmental method. I mean, truth be told if the worst thing you’ve ever done was disobey your parents and you never accepted Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for you, then you will not be spending eternity in Heaven. So really, all we can do is try to steer people in the right direction. We cannot judge them for their decisions and expect them to turn to our ways, cause let’s face it; they are smart enough to see through our façade and notice the imperfections in our lives too. If you feel strong enough about something then try to get with those who are able to change the law and partner with them to get it done.

My last point is this; contentment: the ability to be satisfied with where you are at any moment regardless of the circumstances around you. We see that very thing with Paul and Silas. They do not rush their freedom; didn’t run when the doors flew open and the shackles fell from their arms and legs, and they refused the freedom until it was given in a manner that publicly admitted the wrong that was done to them. They understood that even in uncomfortable circumstances, there is a purpose; a purpose greater than themselves.

This is my struggle right now. I have issues with contentment; not so much with the material things of this world, but more with circumstances. I struggle greatly that my oldest son has been diagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder. Our middle son was born with torticollis which slowed down his muscular development. He should have grown out of it by now, but we are still seeing a lot of weakness. It just doesn’t seem fair, and I have been wrestling with God about these things.

Like any parent, it is extremely difficult to watch our children suffer and it is even harder, for me, to be OK with it. My mind knows that God is perfect. He is all-knowing and He loves my kids more than I do. My heart, though, has not yet accepted the circumstances that they have to deal with right now. It is this reason that I have chosen to study the book of Philippians. Please join me as we start the next section of our study and learn what the Bible says about having contentment and joy in the midst of horrible circumstances. Let’s see What’s Next for us.

Open Doors....

2010-01-27T21:26:00.002-05:00

I was going to move beyond this section in Acts 16 and work toward closing this portion of the study out, but there is a bit more I want to hit on. First off, I want to take another quick look at that passage in Romans that we spent some time looking at in the last post.

We talked about how 'the good', much of the time, is us laying aside our comfort for the benefit of another; that we look at others as being more important than ourselves. But the passage says that ...God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them... So if I read that passage as it is written, it does say that things work together for the good for me, right? Yeah, it does. What it does not say, though, is that 'the good' is going to necessarily be something tangible; something that we can see or touch. What Paul and Silas received during this portion of their stay in Philippi was far greater because of their prison experience than what they would have received without it. What they saw was the hand of God working in a miraculous way to get the attention of the jailer. What they received was evidence of their faith come to fruition, therefore growing their faith. Nothing nails down our belief in Christ more than when we experience God in a way that has no other explanation but that of God.

Now, I want to put myself in Paul's shoes for a minute and go back through this passage again. I free a young slave girl from the bondage of a demon, am beaten and thrown into prison because of it, and once in prison I am thrown in stockades so as to be sure that I do not escape. Tough day so far, right? But I don't lose faith, so while bound in the jail I begin to pray and sing and worship. As I am doing this, I notice how the other prisoners are there watching and listening; some maybe confused as to what god is worthy of praise in a place like this; others probably cynical and cracking jokes about how I had lost it and was probably clinically insane. I keep singing though, because I know the God I am worshipping, and I believe with every fiber of my being that regardless of my situation it doesn't change the fact that He came down and sacrificed himself for me. Should I rot and die in this place, well, I deserve it. The sin in my life is that much of an abomination in the eyes of a Holy and perfect God that I can accept this, but only because of the promise that I will one day be in his presence and will never again depart from it.

But something crazy happened! God responded to my worship and sent a great earthquake to that very spot in the city of Philippi. The prison fell to its foundation and then to top it off all the chains that bound every prisoner fell to the ground.

Assuming that I followed every step that Paul took up until this point (which anyone who knows me, knows that probably wouldn't be the case), this is definitely where I would deviate. In my mind, this would have been God freeing me. God needed me somewhere else more important than this dungy old prison, right? I would have been so wrong.

What Paul shows us here is that every open door is not meant to be walked through. Before making a decision, we have to step back and look at the consequences of that decision, if there are any. In Paul's situation, here, there would have definitely been some negative consequences.

First would have been the integrity of his ministry. If he and Silas ran, they would have then been fugitives in the eye of the law and any further work for the Gospel, at least in that area, would have then had to have been conducted in secret, making his job even harder than it already was.

Second would be the witness he gave to the other prisoners who were in the jail with him. The text stated that the chains fell from all the prisoners, which means they all could have left at any moment. Something they saw in Paul's and Silas's worship must have left these prisoners motionless. "Who is this God that answers prayer?" they must have been asking themselves, and then I see them in my mind waiting to see what these two Disciples do next. How do we know that none of them took off? The author makes sure to show us in verse 28 when Paul screams at the jailer, "We are all here!"

Third would have been the very reason God lead Paul into the prison in the first place. Read verses 27-34 again. If Paul would have ran, the jailer would have died; would have killed himself. Any chance for him, the jailer, to ever make things right with God would have been gone. It would have been an eternal consequence.

So, to make a long story just a little bit longer, it is imperative that we really take everything into consideration when it comes down to us making decisions in our life. It can affect our ministry. It can affect our witness. It can directly affect other people.

Do I look any different to you?

2010-01-22T23:02:00.002-05:00

We ended the last post by reading a great passage out of the book of Romans.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28)

Now when we left Paul and Silas, they were seen singing and praying while bound in stockades in the belly of a prison. That doesn’t seem so ‘good’ to me! So let’s dig a little deeper and look at the next verse there in Romans.

For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. (Romans 8:29)

So when we look at a verse like that of 28, we have to be sure that we don’t take it out of context and have it mean something that it was never intended to mean. It does not mean that only good things will happen to those who are called, but says that things will all work together for the good for those who are called.
So, if we continue down the road in this chapter in Acts, we see that what takes place is that ‘the good’ is actually Paul and Silas giving up their comfort so that the jailer could receive the Good News. Lines up with verse 29 a bit doesn’t it? ...and he chose them to become like his Son... which is obviously referring to Jesus who freely gave himself as a sacrifice for us. What Paul is not only telling us in words, but showing us by example, is that we will be called at times to sacrifice for God. We will have to freely give of ourselves so that another can reap the benefit. This also ties in directly with another passage that Paul wrote to the Corinthian church about what it means to love in a way that God loves us.

Scholars have taken this thing of ‘becoming like his son’ and have fancifully called it progressive sanctification. I like what my pastor calls it better; the Process. Are we expected to be like Jesus at the moment of salvation? Those who do not understand Christianity tend to think that is the way it’s supposed to be, and when we aren’t, they call us hypocrites. They aren’t exactly wrong by calling us that, but have just not been informed that perfection doesn’t happen when a person is saved, but is a process that will not be fulfilled until the Christian is dead and in the presence of God. But, if that same non-believer looks at any Christian for a period of time, it should be unquestionable in his eyes that there is constant change taking place and that the change is lining up with what the Bible says a believer should be.

Now, take a look back to the day that you gave your life to Christ. Do you notice a change? Ask someone who knew you back then and ask them if they see a change.

So look at me; do I look like Jesus to you – no, not the long haired feminine version that movies before Gibson’s portrayed Jesus to be, but my actions. Are my actions like that of Jesus? No, I’m sure the two don’t look anything alike to anyone who as ever read any of the 4 Gospels. But do I appear to have taken steps in the right direction over the last 6 years? I think so, and I do hope that anyone who looks closely sees that too. If not, I have some changes to make.

If you are not yet a believer, does this give you a better understanding of the process of Christianity? Is it something that now makes a bit more sense to you?

Punished For Doing Right?

2010-01-03T17:39:00.004-05:00

Has there ever been a time where you did the right thing, but received some kind of punishment for it? I mean, there was no question in your mind that you did the right thing; it lined up with principles you had been taught in the Bible; it lined up with the Golden Rule; you are confident that if Jesus was standing right next to you that you would do it the same.

That is exactly what seems to have happened to Paul and Silas in the next section of Acts 16. They had just performed that amazing miracle by freeing the slave girl from a demon that possessed her, and the owners of the girl got upset and took them before the authorities where they were severely beaten and thrown into prison. What’s up with that? Obviously God wasn’t a part of that now, was he?

That’s what some of today’s "feel good" preachers may have you believe as they most definitely avoid passages in the Bible like this. Their message says that if you have enough "faith" that God will make you wealthy and keep you healthy and your life will be filled with days of comfort. How do they explain a passage like this? I don’t think they can unless they take a course in political rhetoric and topic avoidance and master ways of dancing around the tough questions. Please be careful who you allow to speak into your life. Jesus NEVER promised a life of comfort for those who would choose to follow Him. What He promised us was that He would be with us through it all. Matthew 17:15-20

Doesn’t seem fair though, does it? How do you react when an unfair thing like this happens to you? How do I react? Typically we start a pity party and let everyone know just how wrong the situation is and do everything we can to get our "Justice". Is that what Paul and Silas did? Far from it! They start praying and singing hymns. What is that all about? Check out this passage and we will finish this section later this week or next.

React

2009-11-25T11:35:00.000-05:00

Do you ever immediately react to a situation that just seems wrong to you? Let me phrase that a bit differently. When was the last time you reacted to a situation without thinking it through? I can probably give you the exact time and date, as I do it pretty frequently. What happens when we do this; when we react immediately? For me, not sure if you're the same or not, but my reaction is typically an attack. I go after the person for the wrong that I have seen them commit. Even when I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am in the right, is this how I should react?

Let's take a look at the next section in this seemingly never-ending chapter in the Bible; Acts 16: 16-18. We see that Paul, Luke, and the rest were continually going down to the place of prayer; this is referring to the river where they had initially met Lydia and the other women. As they continued to go to this place to meet and pray, they kept crossing paths with a demon possessed slave girl fortune teller. This demon that reigned in this young girls body gave her the ability to tell people of the unseen, and in doing so, she earned her masters a great deal of cash. As she met up with Paul, she would shout, "These men are servants of the Most High God, and they have come to tell you how to be saved."

So, here is this girl, a known fortune teller, which to me means she has proven herself to be accurate with the things she foretold. If that's the case, then why in the world did this aggravate Paul so much? Man, that's like free advertising! That could be considered nothing a positive thing for the ministry, right? Let's put it in a different light now. If you were out there trying to give away the Gospel, which is free by the way, to all who take the time to hear it, would it be considered ethical to have this little money making machine doing your advertising? Kind of contradicts the message of the Gospel, doesn't it? Now, let's go sit in another chair and look at this from another perspective. Let's say that you are this little girl's mother or father. You remember the days when this child acted out of innocence, and you know deep down inside that there is something that just isn't right with your little girl anymore. No matter how many of your friends and neighbors come up to you and pat you on the back because of the miraculous things she is a part of, you just wish you had your little innocent daughter back. This poor girl was being held in bondage and Paul's message of the Gospel was supposed to be a message of freedom from bondage. If Paul would have taken advantage of using this as a way of reaching a broader spectrum of people in Philippi, well, it would be the equivalent of China using a young girl who was sold into a life of prostitution to be the face of their advertising campaign for tourism. The closer people would look at it, the more wrong they would see in it. This would have, without question, done far more damage for Paul and his ministry than it would have ever done for the good.

So how did he react? I am going to go as far as to say that Paul did not react. Luke makes certain to put in the text that this was going on day after day. Now, from what we see of Paul in scripture, we can see that Paul was completely sold out to the Gospel. He eventually was beheaded because of it. He was a man of prayer. So with that, if you are unfamiliar with the life of Paul, please read through the book of Acts and the letters that he wrote. He penned about half of the New Testament in the Bible. I think you will agree with my conclusion on Paul's character. So, in saying all that, no I do not believe that Paul reacted, but I believe he responded to the situation of the little fortune teller. And how did he respond?

What Paul did not do, was attack the girl, but instead he confronted the demon and commanded that in the name of Jesus Christ it come out of her. Although it was the girl's voice he was hearing day after day, Paul was wise enough to know it wasn't the girl that needed correcting. He dealt with her in love, and freed her of this thing that held her back.

So here is my challenge to you, and yes this is a challenge to me as well. Think of that person who gets your ears boiling. This is someone who you deal with day after day. Now, make it a point to pray for that person, as well as yourself, to help you deal with that person in a way that is loving and shows no condemnation. Now, it goes without saying that this requires faith, so if you have never placed your faith in Jesus Christ, and want to know how you can do that, please let me know. You can either comment to this, or any post on this blog, or you can click on my facebook link and befriend me there and send me a private message. It will make my day to be able to share with you the Gospel and let you decide whether or not it is for you.

Where is Macedonia?

2009-11-01T15:44:00.004-05:00

So what if we don't get that vision telling us to go to some Macedonia somewhere? That must mean that we're insignificant and we are just sitting on the bench until we get called in, right?

Lydia brings something pretty cool to the surface for us here. This passage tells us that she is a business woman, and also someone who is a believer in God. So, in a nutshell, she already believed in God and was setting aside the Sabbath day, as was required by Jewish custom. Look at where she was in the world. Did she have a Rabbi and others there prompting her to spend that last day of the week in worship? No, but she did it anyway. She was positioned in an area where she could have easily just blended in with the society around her; no-one would have looked at her any differently or thought wrong of her if she was to conduct business on that day, I'm sure.

So, is she like what most North American Christians are like (That may be a wrong phrasing, let me put that as churches in GA and MA, as those are the only two places I have lived)? Does she compartmentalize God and give Him her Sunday morning and then go back to what she does the rest of the week? I don't think so, and my reason is really only opinion based on what I have seen through the years. Those of us who give God a portion of our week don't really do it because we think God deserves it, but more on the basis that we are afraid of what it might look like if we don't. Will we lose face with our peers if we don't show up? Will we maybe lose a vote at the next election? Will it upset our parents or our spouse?

Or, there's the other side of the spectrum; we believe that God requires our presence on the Sabbath. We go out of a sense of duty; we get to check the box and feel that we are good for another week.

Lydia didn't have that pressure, so much, from her peers which tells me that hers wasn't a Saturday (Old Testament Sabbath day) belief but more of a way that she conducted her life.

What do you think would happen if we conducted ourselves with that kind attitude? What if instead of taking time off from work on Sunday mornings to visit a building where God is talked about that we might spend our entire week letting God direct us in how we conduct our work?

Was Lydia then picked up and brought out to a far off land to bring the Gospel? No, she took the missionaries in out of a heart of hospitality. She ministered exactly where she was. Is it possible that God has already placed you in your Macedonia and there is a person amongst you who is ready and just needs to hear the Gospel?

This really hits home for me. I am always asking God when He is going to use me in some way. When He will use me somewhere that I can help further His kingdom. Maybe all this time with me asking, He is just sitting there saying, "Hey Chris, I did! You are there."

An Urgent Calm (part deux)

2009-10-28T22:39:00.000-04:00

As Paul and his team got their direction from God to go to Macedonia, there was nothing that stopped them. They got on a boat which brought them to a small island where they spent the night, and the next day continued on to a port city called Neapolis and then humped it another 10 miles or so (from what I read in commentary) to the city of Philippi. Philippi was a major city in the Macedonia area, and a Roman colony. The significance of this being a Roman colony will be discussed as we near the end of this chapter so I don't really want to get into all that right now.

This group of men had a clear word from God as to where they were going and they let absolutely nothing distract them from their destination.  What we don't see is a group of men completely out of control. We don't here of them running to the boat and then grabbing the oars trying to get there quicker. When they found out the boat wasn't going to leave the island until the morning (that's my take on why they spent the night) we don't hear of Paul jumping in the water and trying to swim to the far off shore. We don't hear of tension among the group because of it taking longer than it should. They just went with it.

Remember, they had just come off a period of time where God (the Spirit) wouldn't let them enter other areas along the journey. They heard from God and just trusted that they would arrive in His timing. They had already proven to themselves that when they tried to work it with their plan that it just didn't work, so why bother trying to rush it?

As they got into town, they started to move deliberately. As Philippi was a Roman colony, there was no temple inside the city walls, so it would be very common to find a group of Jews outside the gates meeting together for worship. So when we read this passage we notice that it doesn't say that Paul 'happened' upon a group of women praying, but rather that Luke writes, "where we thought people would be meeting for prayer." The fact that they went out on the Saturday, the Sabbath, tells us that they were intentionally looking for Jews to talk with.

We also notice how Paul interacts with the group. He doesn't just lay out the Gospel with a take it or leave it attitude, but he engages them relationally.  He (they) sits and talks with them. We don't know exactly what was said, but studying Paul's style can give us an idea. The text does mention that Lydia was a worshipper of God. The capital 'G' tells us that she was a Jew who believed and worshipped the God of Abraham, Moses and Jacob, so as Paul was talking, I would imagine that he would have talked about the Old Testament to show where the Messiah was prophesied and then tell her about Jesus and how He fulfilled those prophesies.  Lydia's Heart was opened to the Gospel and she believed.

We can learn more from Lydia here, but I will close out tomorrow or Friday with that. But I'm sure your wondering how in the world this relates to the accident that I witnessed and my involvement with it.

First off was the calm focus that I had from when I pulled over to calmly jogging across the expressway.  Now that really isn't me. There has been another time where I have seen a man drive his wheelchair off a curb and flip himself onto the ground. I sprinted to him when I saw it and started to grab him, trying to help him up. He didn't really want that. It just brought more attention to what was an embarrassing moment for him. I'm the kind that usually just reacts, not really with a calmness.  There was another time when I was in EMT training in the army, that while on my ambulance rotation we got a call for a toddler that was attacked by a Rottweiler. I got there, saw the boy and completely froze for about ten to fifteen seconds. Reacting with a calm urgency is not typically my style.

Then there was the area of how deliberately I worked the scene while waiting for the 'pros' to show up. From finding a need to get the door open, turning the ignition off, assessing the damage of the cab inside the SUV, and trying to get that poor lady to vocally respond to a question. I have no training in a situation like this. Although I was EMT trained (10 years earlier), most of my training was in combat lifesaving and trauma. There is no reason why the things that came to mind should have come to mind and is why I made mention that I believe that God orchestrated my involvement in those events.

Lastly, there is the relational aspect. Anyone who knows me knows I am not a people person, except maybe when there is a person with a need. My heart does break for a hurting person, whether it be a homeless guy as he shares his story with me, or when I hear of a child that is struck with a disease that keeps them from being a child. This was the only part that came naturally for me; trying to talk with this lady and encourage her by letting her know that there was help around the corner and relief for her pain would be there soon.

But, for the person who does not show his hurts, that is not how I typically engage him. I am usually very bold, and lay it out in such a way that they either accept it or they don't.

Although I write this in a fashion where I am teaching a passage of scripture, I assure you that God took this time to personally teach me how to effectively reach people. He showed me that my technique is not overly effective. Should it surprise us that in his early years when Paul used the same approach as me, that he was pretty ineffective as well. It is when we come alongside people and meet them where they are, that Gospel makes sense. Not always easy to do though, is it?

An Urgent Calm

2009-10-27T22:00:00.006-04:00

As I got in the car this morning and made my way toward the first stop of the day, I noticed how the rain, which started as a steady drizzle, was now close to a downpour. I was so busy listening to a CD series that was given to me that I just lost track of the driving. It is a series, or a seminar, by Mark Hamby that is just awesome. I highly recommend it, but that really has nothing to do with where we're going with this today.

As I was "regaining consciousness" while driving northbound on GA 400, I see through the hazy sheet of rain, about 300-400 yards ahead of me, an SUV spin out and crash directly into the median wall. The vehicle must have been doing about 50-60mph upon impact, yet as I pulled over onto the breakdown lane on the opposite side, I was completely calm. I called 911 and notified them of the incident and stepped out of my truck. Traffic had slowed because of the accident, and by the time I made it over to the SUV, another gentleman was standing there by the drivers' side door. He didn't have much to say, and he like me was very calm. I almost expected the driver to open the door and come out a little shaken and say something like, "Whew, did you guys see that?" Very strange to look back on.

I peered through the drivers' side window, and the door was locked. I knocked on the window, but the driver was hunched over onto the passenger seat; she was moving. The horn was blaring due to the impact, and my knocks were not heard. I walked around the car to the passenger side, which was locked as well, and upon my knocks I got my first glimpse of the driver. Her face was dripping with blood and her eyes were kind of rolling in the back of her head. I yelled through the closed window, "Can you open the door?" She reached behind her and unlocked the drivers' door. I made my way back there, the other man still calmly standing there under his umbrella. I wrestled the door open, as the body of the vehicle was twisted and crunched from the collision with the stationary wall.

I then reached in and turn the key in the ignition to the off position and started to vocally check on the woman. She was moaning as she seemed to be regaining consciousness. I looked around the cab to see the damage and noticed both her legs pinned under the steering wheel; the steering wheel itself was bent; it appeared that the seat was pushed toward the windshield; the center console shattered. As I was looking around and talking to her, the dust that was created by the airbag deployment started to clear from the vehicle. I was still very calm; don't understand how. She leaned her head toward me and turned as she moaned over the noise of the stuck horn. I was very relieved to see her move her neck without issue, but not really prepared to see her blood soaked face again. I looked into her eyes and slowly asked her what her name was. She was unable to speak and took off her name badge and handed it to me. I asked her where it hurt, just trying to get any kind of vocal response from her, and she told me, "My face and knees!"

By this time, the police had arrived and I gave them an initial assessment with what I saw and what she told me. The officer took my information, as well as the ID badge I was given by this lady. By this time the fire department and ambulance was pulling up and the cop said to hold tight for a minute and he would get me back across the street to my truck so I could get out of there. As I waited, I walked back over to the vehicle and leaned in the drivers' door. The lady looked right up at me this time with 'begging' eyes. I looked at her and asked her if she could tell me her date of birth, which she did very quickly, still looking into my eyes. I followed up immediately by asking her, "You OK?" "It hurts so bad" she responded. I told her that help was here and it would be a matter of minutes before she would be on her way. I then told her that I would be praying for her today and she thanked me.

As I looked up, the police officer was starting to hold up traffic and waved me across the expressway. My involvement with this woman was now over. I got back into my truck, noticed how wet I was from hangin out in the rain, then let out a big sigh and a tear fell from my eye.

Now there is a reason why I share this today; more than just wanting to tell about my experience today. I do believe that God orchestrated my involvement today to help share about the next passage of scripture in our study. I would love to keep going with my thoughts tonight, but I'm afraid I would lose some people with the length of the post. So I will add some more tomorrow or the day after...

So Who Qualifies?

2009-10-22T22:41:00.004-04:00

So we lean on other people when making a major decision - get their take on it, especially if it is one of those character effecting decisions. But who qualifies as the person or people we go to when we need to bounce an idea off of someone?

I think this is a tough question because it requires us to take a bit of an inventory. What in the world do I mean by that? Well, look at yourself, honestly, as you are right now. Are you done? Have you arrived? Is this as good as it gets? Or do you maybe see areas in your life where you can use a little growth? Envision yourself 10 - 12 years from now. Are you hoping that you are the exact same person that you are today or are you hoping that maybe you have changed a bit? And of those changes, are you hoping that they will be the ones that outlive you and are passed down to those who were lucky enough to know you? Are you hoping to be more generous with your time and money? Are you hoping to be known as a patient person? Maybe one who is forgiving and never holds a grudge? One who shows compassion and mercy with people who most have forgotten? In general, do you hope to be a better person than you are today?

I think most of us will answer pretty much the same to all those questions. We all wish we had the courage to be more than we are - speaking of our character. So answer me this question, please. If we all want to be more, then why is that we run our major life decisions past people who are in the same place we are? When we are venting about a hurt or a hang-up, who is that we tend to flock toward? Usually its people who tell us the things we want to hear, not the ones who will challenge us to look at the situation from a different perspective. So how do we expect to grow into this person we desire to be if we never allow ourselves to be challenged by a friend?

I have been searching today for a verse in the Bible that I am all but positive is in there, but I cannot pinpoint it. If you know it, please comment and put it up for us. In a nutshell, Paul is telling one of his guys, I believe it's Timothy, that he should find someone who is further along in the faith; someone who has already been where he is and has successfully navigated though it; someone who although is not perfect, has such a drive to be like Christ that when he stumbles, or falls, or makes a mistake, gets right back up again and knocks the dust off and continues with the same focus he had before he fell. Find that person and emulate him; be like him.

Those are the people we should go to when major life decisions or potential character building decisions come our way. I am pretty sure we can handle ordering our favorite coffee flavor of the season on our own, but what about the decision that makes you choose between the friends and family you have living near you and a potentially lucrative job opportunity that will cause you to pick your family up and move them to an unfamiliar place? We need those people in our lives that can challenge us to look beyond the possible right here, right now success and show us the hazards that may be involved with that decision.

Do you have someone like that in your life? If you are lucky enough to have a person like that, do you utilize that person or do you get hung up with some lie that tells you that you shouldn't bother him/her with your problems?

We need a model in our life. Looking at Jesus and saying we want to be like that can be way too difficult and can much of the time be discouraging. Jesus is perfect, and there is no way we will ever match up to that perfection. We need to see the guy that taps into the grace given by Jesus; the one who realizes he is forgiven and is "in process" and continues to strive to be more like Jesus.

Do you have a person like that you can go to? Is it possible that you might be that person for someone else?

Let's continue down that road...

2009-10-20T23:33:00.002-04:00

I would like to continue down that road I started. It kind of drives away from where I initially tried to park this thing, but recent circumstances tell me I need to continue this way.

We have had a pretty hairy year with our extended family this year, and a very tough last few months in particular with our immediate family that I think will illustrate where I am trying to go with this.

Ang and I decided on taking a trip to Disney with the kids this summer. We had been having behavioral issues (under-statement) with our oldest, but thought it would be OK with how busy we would be. That wasn't the case at all.  Our vacation came to a screeching halt as Collin's behavior started to be dangerous for him and his brothers. We got him home, set up a visit with a psychiatrist and within a couple days we had to admit him to a hospital. This was by far the hardest thing we ever had to do. We sat him at the table and explained to him that he was going to have to go in the hospital. He cried, yet understood. He gave his brother Jonathan a huge hug and behind his weeping tears told him that he loved and would miss him. Collin then requested a family picture that he could take with him so he could look at it while he was away. This was a 6 year old. It just ripped my heart out.

It was during that time that a group of people then surrounded us. People we really didn't "know" yet. I was meeting with a few guys for breakfast once a month - or every other month - as we were getting to know each other. It was out of that group along with others that a huge need was met for our family. We don't have any relatives close by, either of us, and Collin's brothers were not allowed in the hospital at all. So for starters, our neighbor from across the street came over to reassure Ang that this was needed. Her daughter and friend ended up staying at the house with the younger ones as we went to admit Collin to the hospital. We got phone calls and texts on the way there and as we showed up at our destination, Pastor Clay called and prayed for Collin as we cried.

The next day, Saturday, a great friend from church and a wealth of knowledge about youngsters with behavioral issues came and watched the boys.  Lydia has become a rock for Ang to lean on through the days since.   The following day we dropped the kids off at the church. We skipped service and the boys were left with another set of friends. Smitty, a guy I respect greatly, and Wendy took them back to Wendy's house and Jonathan got to work alongside them and help plant a bush. Later in the week, Tony and Wendy (a different Wendy) took Jonathan and Joseph to their place and entertained them for an afternoon, riding them around in a trailer behind a riding lawn mower.

During this time, we were given Collin's diagnosis and had been dealing with the shock that came along with it. He was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder with ADHD. The hyperactivity didn't really surprise us at all, nor did the bi-polar, but as it began to sink in, so did the reality of it.

Now, lets fast forward to last night. I sent out a quick text message to a group from the church and asked them to pray for Ang as she was in urgent care because of pressure in her chest. The doctor was seeing some abnormalities in her AKG and wanted her at the emergency room right away. Ang decided to decline the ambulance, which blew me away. I would have done it just to say I did!

I got immediate responses on my text message with encouragement and a willingness to pray for her. Again, Tony and Wendy offered to take in the kids, who were at this time asleep in the minivan with me. I ended up dropping them off at their house at midnite as Ang was getting tests done.  The diagnosis ended up being gall stones and will need surgery to rid herself of those pesky little growths, but thank goodness her heart is good!

So here I sit tonight, thinking over these events. I think of my life a bit over 6 years ago, and what would have happened with these two circumstances had I not made that one choice. These people would not have been in my or Ang's life to pull from. Could I have called a co-worker with a favor like that? Would I have had anyone call to encourage us through either of these circumstances? So what makes these people so different that they might respond in such a way to a guy and gal that they have nothing but one thing in common? They are the church. Not the Sunday morning show; not the greedy guy on Daystar trying to convince you that you need to support their ministry so that they can purchase a private jet to get them where "God" needs them to be at any given time. These are people who at one particular moment in their life decided that they wanted to follow Jesus and in doing so understood that their decision meant that they were to follow his lead.

Are these people perfect; without fault? No, I don't think so. But as they live this life they were given, they make conscious decisions to try to be more like Christ in the way they live and in the way they interact with others.

Never Alone

2009-10-17T10:54:00.000-04:00

So we finally get direction, and we are on our way, right? This next section in Acts is a critical principle that is so easy to overlook both as we read it and especially as we live it. Paul got direction from God in the form of a vision.

Now, we can get into a discussion about how God talked to his people in the Old Testament and the New Testament if you want; it could be pretty interesting and I would have to do a lot of studying, which is fine by me. Comment with some ideas if that is something you want to look at, or even if this is one of those barriers for you, keeping you from taking Christianity seriously.

Paul got a vision one night of a guy asking him to come to Macedonia to help them. So Paul got up the very next day and moved out, right? That's what I would have done. "Come on guys, follow me! I know where we're going now." What is the problem with this? I mean, isn't this how God had Moses lead the Israelites through the desert? We can actually go to a number of places in the Old Testament and find where God would lead a group by directing one person? So what brought on the change?

Interesting side note here. This is one of a couple of sections where the author, Luke, met up with Paul and the group and joined them on a leg of the journey. We can see in verses 6-8 where the group labeled as 'they', but as we get into verse 10 that this transitioned to 'we'. I found that interesting when I learned it anyway...

That last sentence in this section, verse 10, is the key to the principle I wanted to bring up. Paul didn't just say, "Hey, come on gang.'' He sat down with the group and told them what he had seen. The group then discussed it and concluded that God had called them to head that way. The principle, in its basic form, is to have people you can call on and discuss how God may be guiding you through life.

This could be a reason that Christ instituted the Church before he left, you think? There are a multitude of people that I have talked to throughout the years who'believe' in God, but hate the church. "Those people are a bunch of hypocrites", they say. And you know what, I agree. But then again, isn't every person on the planet a hypocrite in some fashion?

One of my favorite conversations written in the Bible is between Peter and Jesus right at the end John's Gospel. Peter is going back and forth with Jesus about the things to come, and points over to another disciple and says, "What about him?" Jesus says to the one who contemporary writers have labeled as the 'Apostle with the foot shape mouth' and says "what is it to you what happens with him, follow me."

That is the key to Christianity I think. I'm no scholar or theologian, but in the short time I have followed 'the way', I have let down numerous people and have been let down by almost as many. If we look to people and try to gain our sustenance from them, it will not last. We have to tap into Jesus ourselves; not rely on a Pastor or a Priest. That's all the church is, or at least should be. A group of imperfect people who are all trying to follow the lead of Jesus Christ with one another.

The lesson in rejection (for me)

2009-10-09T00:57:00.005-04:00

I love how the old King James version translates patience - long-suffering. This is actually one of the signatures of a christian's character. I almost hate to post it because as I read the link I can see inconsistencies in my own life - especially where it comes to patience.

I don't wait well. I spend my days working with computers and it frustrates me to no end when they do not respond the way they should or at a speed that fits my schedule. I live in a city with one of the worst traffic problems in the country and am forced to drive the highways most of the days that I work - waiting behind another car who is waiting for the car in front of him. I have 3 young boys who when told to do something will either look at me like a deer in headlights or take it a little bit further and actually say, No!"

I don't think I am really alone with this one though. We live in a society that says we need it our way, right away.  As I was coming home from work at 6:30 this morning I drove by the Chick-Fil-A in our town and the drive-thru lane was wrapped around the building. Why? Because it's easier and faster to get a chicken biscuit and a cup of coffee there than it is to drop some frosted flakes in a bowl and pour milk over them at home.

I really don't know if I would have survived the beginning of this trip with Paul. In fact, this is much of my struggle with christianity today. I want all the details up front, with a plan mapped out, and a detailed explanation of how I fit into that plan so I will know exactly what will be required of me.  God just doesn't seem to work that way though. We see it with Abram as he is told to go - yet is not told where. We see it with David as he is anointed to be King at a young age yet doesn't get the throne until much later. So it shouldn't surprise us much here that Paul was put in a holding pattern - that his plans weren't working out like he expected.

I have had a situation where God made it evident that it was time to make a move, yet he didn't tell me or Ang where. It was time to leave the church we had been a part of since being saved, and go to find our next church home. Doesn't seem like a big deal to some who may be reading this, but it was huge for us. These were our friends, people we love. What made it tough was some circumstances in which we had to leave. As soon as it was time to go, I knew that the decision would tear some relationships apart. Most of them have still not been restored, but I made the decision for my family and we left, and had no clue where we were going.

For 2 years we searched for a church. Much of that time I had spent in prayer - yet received no answer. About 18 months into it, I had begun to lose hope. My prayer life stopped. Reading my Bible started to be more of a discouragement than something to lift me up. My relationship with my wife had quickly turned around and was starting down that same road we were on when we first got married. Everything was falling apart.  But we kept looking for a church, and kept looking, and looking. Then we finally, after 2 years of searching found where God needed us to be.

Looking back at this now, has that situation helped my patience? Not really, if I'm going to be completely honest, but it did show me a great truth, one that our current pastor has said a couple times.

"If God answered all our prayers the way we wanted them answered, He wouldn't really be God, would he? We would."

So where are you right now? Are you in a holding pattern or has God given you direction? How are you responding to where He has you today?

from Rejection to Motion

2009-10-06T14:42:00.003-04:00

The rejection I referred to in my last post is one that I think we have all felt at some time in our life; some of us may even remember moments where we have dealt it out to others. It has to do with a rejection based solely on who we are, or what we look like, or the social bracket we fall into. It is painful because, much of the time, there is nothing we can do to prevent it. We are who we are; nothing much we can do about that if we are to remain true to ourselves.

I look at this next section in Acts 16 and I see a form of rejection, but not a form we might be accustomed to. Paul started off this second journey to further the spread of the gospel with a plan already in mind. He went to what is present day Turkey, but each time he attempted to enter an area, the door was closed. Now, what exactly happened to keep him from entering these areas is unclear to us. It is one of those 'grey' areas in the Bible.

He very well could have been rejected by the people there, and this is where my mind always takes me. There may not have been a single person who wanted anything to do with him because of what he had to say, and Jesus made it clear what we are to do when a group of people do not accept the message being brought. But even if that is the case and the people did reject the message, it is hard not to take it personally because Chritianity is not just what we believe, but it is who we are. So even though we can gain comfort from the words of Jesus, we still feel the sting of rejection. But then again, didn't he?

If it wasn't the people who rejected the message, then the other possibility I see is that maybe God rejected their plan. It takes a great deal of humility to admit our ideas may not be right at times. We may put something together that takes hours - days - weeks to prepare and then go present our idea with the highest of expectations to get a little shrug of the shoulders and a comment like "yeah, that's not bad, but it isn't really what we're looking for..." We put so much into what we do at times that it then becomes, again, who we are. So when our idea fails, or our proposition isn't taken seriously, then we ourselves feel rejected.

With either of these possibilities we are then left with a choice. Do we accept the rejection and drive forward, or do we give up and go back to where we came from..?

Rejection is tough. Much of the time it forces us to look at ourselves and see things we aren't really all that proud of. And in seeing this in ourselves brings humility, and that is exactly where we need to be for God to bring us to the next step.

Is it possible that Paul's rejection at the beginning of this journey was a way of keeping him humble and patient and reliant on the sovereign power of God?

Acts 16: 9-15

Rejected

2009-10-04T22:01:00.001-04:00

Have you ever felt completely rejected by everyone around you; looked down upon; worthless? What hurts even more than that is when you look back and see it in yourself...

It was a couple years ago now, at CNN in Atlanta. I was working on some of the computer equipment in CNN’s datacenter and went outside to wait on a courier to arrive with some parts that I needed. It was the aftermath of one of the Bible-Belt’s bigger christian conventions. People were all over the place in the Centennial Olympic Park area, when I heard from behind me a scream, "Will somebody help me!" Out through a set of revolving doors spun a dirty, pungent, old woman. The way she walked told me she was probably riddled with arthritis. Without question, she was homeless. As she yelled for help again, I looked around at the people in the area. There was a bellhop to an adjacent hotel who was trying to flag down a cab for a guest. His look told me he had seen this before; he was hardened to it. I looked at multiple groups of people, groups that had probably spent the day in the Christian rally being pumped up and motivated to be everything that God created them to be. Now, faced with a real life opportunity, they showed their humanity as they dropped their heads and looked to the ground; some walked away.

I walked up to the old lady, asking what she needed help with. I nearly fell over from the funk surrounding her wrinkly, toothless, body. She said, "I need help getting to the train". As I listened to her plea for help, the words of Jesus rung through my head, "When you help the least of these, you are helping me". She said it again, "I need help getting to the train". I looked at her in the eyes and said, "I can’t, my car isn’t nearby".

"Will somebody please help me!?!"

As she hobbled away from me, alongside her came a young man. He would be one that I would characterize as a gangster, or a thug; one that if I came across on a quiet dark street in the middle of the night, I would feel fear enter my body. The young man came alongside this woman in need, put his arm around her, and helped her walk up the sidewalk to the train stop.

My parts didn’t show up for another hour or so. I sat there on the side of the CNN building playing it over in my head, again and again...

Acts 16:6-8

Why? (What it said to me)

2009-10-02T14:22:00.002-04:00

We had the opportunity to get together and talk about this a little bit last night, but spent more time just hangin out, getting to know each other. It was a good time!

So what did I get out of this little study?

Have you ever been somewhere or watched something on TV where someone was speaking and it felt like it was just you and him; that he was speaking directly to you? Yeah me too. It is a weird and uncomfortable moment, but that's kind of what this was like for me on this first little section that we are looking at.

I am a 'black and white' type of person; not a whole lot of 'gray' for me. It should be either 'yes or no'; don't care so much for 'maybe'. It should be either 'this way or that way'; none of this 'either way could work fine'.

So what we see here is that we have to be flexable. We shouldn't compromise the message, but a little flexability with how it is delivered may mean the difference.

Let me explain it this way. It doesn't surprise me at all, Laura, that you responded to one of the posts this week. Not because I expected that you would, but because the illustration I'm going to make is you. (Didn't know I was going to do this until right now)

Laura is the author and creator of the production that was put together where I gave my life to the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, the one I talked about in my post call 'Choices'. She is a special one. God just dumped a truck load of giftedness on this lady. Laura - and correct any mistake I might make in sharing this please - had everything put together for this production. She had the final draft of the script in place and everything was ready to go. Just days before June 29, 2003, she just got this feeling that changes were needed. So, even though everything was set, she went with where she felt God leading her and made what were to be the necessary changes. Now I can't say that the changes were what lead me to make my decision, but I do believe they must have played a part. That's just how God seems to work sometimes. He tested Laura to see if she was willing to give what she worked so hard on back to Him and allow Him to guide her with what needed to be done. She then submitted and I was then saved. Yes, I do believe the changes played a huge part.

Great to see you on here Laura - brought back memories of our Questions of Jesus study we did awhile back.

So where can I make the changes in my life to be more flexible? How can I be less concerned about me and more concerned about those around me..? What changes can I make to be more like Timothy?

Why? (part 2)

2009-09-27T20:18:00.005-04:00

Who was the adult that impacted your life most when you were young? Think about it for a minute; think about how it was he/she made that impact. For me it was a guy named Neal Laravee (I hope I spelled that right!). He was my drum line instructor in high school marching band. He had a way of embedding himself in my head and motivating me to go a little bit further than I thought was possible. He would get in our face, yelling and screaming just pushing us and pushing us. After the first few months of my freshman year, I was just so down about it. I didn't think there was anything I could do to please this guy. Then one day out of the blue, the director of music stopped us in mid practice; right in the middle of the song. This was usually not a good sign. He called out the drum line and said something like, "hey snare drums..." there was a long pause. "I cannot believe how you two have improved over the last few months. You guys are so tight; you sound like one drum..." Neal walked by and gave me and the other snare drummer a high five and kept walking. I never doubted Laravee's tactics again.

What made him so effective? He found out what made me (us really) tick and he used that to make a difference. We ended up winning State as well as the New England Championships that year. One of my greatest memories...

Paul talks about that same principle in another letter that he wrote to a church in Corinth. In a nutshell, he says "I become all things to all men so that some may be saved." He was basically saying that he made sure to understand his surroundings and did whatever was possible to adapt to them. If he was hanging out with Jews, he wouldn't eat certain foods, so as to not offend them. If he was with non-jews, he would not try restrict the things that they ate or have them abide by any of the rules of the jews.

In the scenerios I gave in my last post; if I were going to hang out with a biker gang (do those even exist anymore?), I wouldn't go there in a pair of dark slacks with a white shirt and a skinny tie toting a Bible in my arms. That would just be suicide! And I would not go into a nursing home with ripped jeans, flip-flops, an unshaven face and unkept hair while wearing a gothic looking t-shirt with some kind of Christian insignia hidden in it somewhere. I just wouldn't be taken seriously by someone of that generation, although I do think they would be a bit more forgiving than the biker gang...

The same is true for why Timothy was circumcised. He and Paul took note of the group of people they were around. If Timothy were to be taken seriously, it would mean that a sacrifice would have to be made on his part. He thought of the Gospel and those he was around as more important than his "rights".

This is a tough one for us, well, me anyway. I will get into how all that speaks to me with my next post.

Why? (part 1 - revisited)

2009-09-25T14:09:00.000-04:00

Let's take this out of the Bible context and bring it a little closer to home, maybe.

Say I, Chris, am a Christian and I feel that God has led me to be a part of a group that was to go into a rough part of town to bring the gospel. And let's say that I was brought up in a strict, rigid, traditional church setting. The group of people that God has brought across our path are those who have mangly facial hair, wear leather jackets, have tattoos of naked ladies on their arms, and their primary mode of transportation is a Harley Davidson Fatboy. (Yes, it was very necessary for me to add a link to the Harley Davidson webpage.)

Or we could even bring it around to the other side of the spectrum. Say I, Chris, am a Christian and I feel that God has led me to be a part of a group that was to go into nursing homes to bring the gospel. And let's say that I was not brought up in a church at all but was recently saved in a contemporary church where it doesn't matter what you wear and where the music is loud and has a strong back beat.

Now, it's important to note; there is absolutely nothing wrong with either style of church. Both are very effective for what they offer and who they offer them to, but in either of these scenerios, would I be effective if I brought "church as I know it" to either of these groups of people?

Why? (part 1)

2009-09-21T04:10:00.000-04:00

In my first post, I spoke of choices, and shared my testimony of how I became Christian. I started the What's Next blog in this way on purpose. I believe that my conversion is the mark of the beginning of my new life. That sounds weird doesn’t it? I agree. But if we take a look at what Jesus told Nicodemus in the beginning of John’s Gospel, we understand that we must be born again – a spiritual re-birth. So there is no better place to start this thing than at the beginning. This is also where the Bible really picked up on Paul's life. We had glimpses of him earlier in Acts 7, but we really see him and follow him at his point of conversion.

What we will end up studying during this initial session is the book of Philippians, but in order to get there, we will look at the Apostle Paul’s ministry in the City of Philippi on his second missionary journey from the book of Acts, chapter 16.

Acts 15: 4-21 (click link to read the passage out of the Bible)

As we get into this chapter of Acts 16, it is imperative that we understand what just happened in Acts 15, as it is pivotal to the lives of the gentiles (non-Jews). There were some Jewish radicals who were teaching that even though Jesus came and sacrificed himself freely, people were still bound to Jewish customs to include circumcision. There was a huge meeting that took place that has been labeled over the years as the Jerusalem Council. It was in this meeting, that it was determined that Christians were no longer bound to these traditions and that we were truly saved by grace through faith; that it is a spiritual transformation that happens to the believer, not a physical one. The Holy Spirit is the sign of the transformed life, and there is nothing that a person can do to earn his salvation.

Acts 16: 1-5 (click link to read the passage out of the Bible)

Why I make sure to bring that up is because of what takes place immediately in the first few lines of the next chapter. Paul hooks up with a guy named Timothy as he was starting his 2nd missionary journey. Timothy’s parents consisted of a mother who was a Jewess believer (in Christ), and a father who was a Greek, a gentile. As they were taking off on their journey, Paul made sure Timothy was circumcised. Why? Why would they do this if it was no longer required? In the meeting they had just left it was determined that Circumcision was no longer needed. Then why in the world would they go this route and put Timothy through this un-needed pain?

Choices

2009-09-13T22:31:00.000-04:00

A couple nights ago I watched a report about a motorcycle police chase. At the time I watched it, there were not a whole lot of details pertaining to the events that led up to the chase, which opened up a lot of open ended questions. The motorcyclist decided that he was not going to pull over as the blue lights flashed behind him so he accelerated - I picture him weaving in and out of the lanes and in between cars as he tried to shake the cops. He ended up transferring from one highway to the next and as he shifted lanes on the northbound side of the interstate, something happened; something eternal. He lost control of his bike and crashed into the median wall, immediately throwing his body into the southbound lanes of oncoming traffic. He was hit by multiple cars and his body was left there on the side of the road, lifeless.

My heart immediately started to race as I heard the reporter give the brief report. I started to put myself in the shoes of those involved.

The Police Ofificers

(before) How hard do I chase this guy?
(after) Did I push him too hard?

The drivers and passengers of the oncoming cars:

Did they or are they still blaming themselves for hitting the speeder?
Are they able to sleep tonight as the pictures of that night replay in their minds

The motorcyclist:

What was going through his mind at the time when the cops pulled up behind him where he was forced to make the decision of stopping or going?
What thoughts raced in those couple of seconds that he flew through the air before his inevitable death?
Was he prepared?

As I was thinking about this event over the last couple of days, I started to realize how important choices are that we make. I remember back to days in the army when I decided to get in my Jeep and drive back to the barracks after a night at the bar. I actually remember one particular night where I was not only pulled over by a city police officer, but also an army MP. After a brief sobriety test with the MP, he looked at me and said that I had failed at least 3 of the tests. I was expecting hand-cuffs and a brief meeting in front of my First Sergeant and Company Commander as they told me that I was no longer able to serve with my unit. I played what I thought was to come over in my head and felt immediate regret. I then heard these words from a very young and obviously inexperienced MP. "Tell your buddies that not all MP's are jerks."

Did he do me a favor? At the moment I thought so, but I did end up drinking and driving again after that night. I look back and am very thankful that my poor choices regarding drinking and driving never made a negative impact on myself or anyone else.

There are all kinds of choices we have to make in life. Some are very simple and will leave absolutely no impact whatsoever. Others, not so simple, and will cause major impact for ourselves and others should we choose wrong.

As I mentioned earlier, I come from an army background. When I went in, I decided I wanted to follow in my Dad's footsteps. When he was drafted to Vietnam, he was enlisted as a radio relay operator. I decided to stay in the communications field and enlisted as a radio and comsec repairman. While in basic training I grew to love the physical challenges the army was offering me. My lungs were clear for the first time in a very long time due to all the running I was doing and I grew to appreciate the early morning sunrises as we humped our way from the barracks to the rifle ranges. After basic was done, I went to AIT (advanced individual training). I had 28+ weeks where the army would train me to repair radios and encryption devices. I felt as if I was back in college again - which was not very productive - and grew to miss the challenges that were afforded to me at basic training.

Toward the end of my time in schooling, we were visited by a couple of senior NCOs wearing red berets. They were airborne instructors and they gave a very motivating speech. As they were talking, one of my friends and I caught eyes. Both of us had already volunteered in our minds and within a few weeks we were on our way to Ft Benning for jump school. In all actuality, it should have been called landing school, not jump school. We spent the 1st couple weeks learning how to perform a PLF (parachute landing fall). My body had never felt pain like it did from those two weeks. But the week to come would end up being one of my hardest; Jump week (make 5 successful jumps from a perfectly good airplane in a 1 week time frame).

But let me backtrack to the end of week 2 for just a second, as it positioned me for yet another choice in my early army career. The Regimental Commander of the 75th Ranger Regiment came down to speak to our class. He spoke of two men, two Ranger qualified Delta snipers: Shugart and Gordon (Please click the link to read their story). As he told the story of these two self-less men, I remember fighting back the tears as I told myself that this was where I belonged.

After I completed my airborne training, I then volunteered for the 3rd time in my army career and signed to go to RIP (Ranger Indoctrination Program). Whereas airborne school was painful and probably the most mentally challenging thing I have ever done, Going through RIP was probably the most physically taxing experience of my life. As I graduated and was awarded my black beret and my ranger scroll, I was the proudest I had ever been. I chose to set goals for myself and I was able to accomplish those goals.

I loved that unit and spent my entire career at Headquarters and Headquarters Company, 75th Ranger Regiment at Ft Benning GA. I will be honest with you though. Staying with the Rangers was a challenge from day one and continued to be until the day I was discharged. I was almost always the weakest link physically, which meant that those who were with me had to either slow down for me or motivate me to push through the pain and fatigue. You see, the rangers live by a creed. It is not just a bunch of words that they memorize; it is a way of life for them. The 5th stanza of that creed is what has stayed with me and what haunted me for some time later in life. It says:

Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained and will fight with all my might. Surrender is not a Ranger word. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy and under no circumstances will I ever embarrass my country.

Toward the end of my initial enlistment, I met the woman who I am fortunate enough to have married; Angela. It did not take me long at all to fall for her. All of my time was soon centered on her and I knew in my mind that I would not raise a family in the military. So I made some choices. 1st being that it was now time to get ready to get out of the army. Not an easy decision, but one that I saw as necessary. We talked as I was getting ready to be discharged and I knew that long distance would just never work out. I soon landed a job prospect in Atlanta through a great friend of mine. I told Ang that I was going to stay and she then travelled with me to Atlanta to find an apartment. She would drive up to visit me from Columbus on her days off and within eight months we were married.

Marriage was tough, right from the start. I had never shared an apartment with a woman before and wasn't used to really having to share anything. Couple that with her falling into a depression almost immediately due to the fact that she had never been away from home before. We immediately began to drift apart. My not understanding why Ang was acting the way she was confused me. So I did what I was supposed to do. I tried to provide for her. And provide... And provide... I was always at work trying to make a name for myself there. I had the army mentality that I was to give 110% at everything I did. But I was forgetting one very important area that needed my effort. My marriage. And with me being home less and less, Ang grew more and more depressed and we drifted further and further apart. Neither of us really knew what it meant to be married. What it meant to put the other person first.

My world came crashing down around me on the morning of Sept 11, 2001, only a little more than 9 months after my discharge from the United States Army. I was on my way to work, driving eastbound on highway 92 just outside of Woodstock GA. I was listening to the 99X morning show with Barnes, Leslie, and Jimmy. After a song had finished, they started reporting about what they were seeing on CNN. It was what appeared to be a plane of some sort that had crashed into one of the World Trade Center Towers.

My thoughts were very cynical at that point. "What kind of idiot would fly right into the WTC?" Then the 3 DJ's got very quiet for a second. "Is that another plane", said Barnes. "It's another plane!" I got a lump in my throat. "It's going straight at it! Pull up! PULL UP!!!!" (Silence) "Oh my God! It just flew right into the other tower."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. My eyes started to water up, and then my thoughts shifted. 'We were just attacked', went through my mind. I started seeing, in my thoughts, all my friends as they raced to get all their combat equipment ready. I knew that within minutes of the 2nd plane hitting the tower that hundreds of pagers were going off in Georgia and Washington State. The men I trained with, some of whom I had trained, were gearing up for combat.

The guilt set in immediately. Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country... I was not there. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy... I would not be there. As soon as I got to the office I tried to get on CNN's webpage but it was down, as was every other news page on the internet. A friend from the Army called me soon after. He had just been discharged and was still on post in a waiting area as they tried to determine what was going to happen next. He was equally as confused as I was.

Within a week or so I found myself in a recruiter’s office giving them all my updated information, as far as my new address and phone numbers to reach me just in case they needed me to go back in. They could see it in my eyes. "Do you want to volunteer to go back in Sgt." I told them I could not do that, but because I was still inactive ready reserve, I wanted them to know how they could get me if they needed to. I knew that without question, I would not be able to go back into the Ranger Regiment. It just wouldn't happen that way. I would go wherever the Army needed me at that point, and if I were to go to combat, I wanted it to be with no one other than the men from the 75th Ranger Regiment.

I was unable to talk about what I was feeling with Ang, and that just grew more and more distance between us. We were having fight after fight. I punched a hole through one of the doors in our house. The screaming and yelling grew to be almost a daily ritual. She had left me on a couple of occasions and went back to her home town of Columbus. I almost made the mistake of getting on a plane and flying back to Massachusetts, without her, another time. My brother luckily intervened and talked some sense into me before I made that move. Soon after, when we had made up from one of our many fights, Collin was conceived.

We started to shift gears as best we could in our relationship and did everything we could to hold onto what was left of our marriage. Collin was born on Oct 15, 2002, and our world changed. Something about being there for the birth of your child (I guess women don't really have that option) makes you start to look at life a little bit differently. Seeing that little body with all the complexity that is put into it; thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong and being completely helpless to do anything about it if it did... We started to think a little outside ourselves.

We were both raised as Roman Catholics, and we both agreed that we needed to raise this youngin to learn about God. So we started going to church, and concentrated on finding a church that could teach our son what he needed to learn as he grew up. We went to the Catholic Church in town for awhile, but I was just so not into it. So Ang was good and agreed to try other churches, knowing that it would disappoint her family very much. We tried a Methodist church in town. I loved it! They had this awesome choir and the kids program seemed pretty good. Not only that, it was very much like the Catholic service, except you didn't have to do all that exercising! (Stand-up, sit-down, stand-up, kneel, etc). Ang wasn't as into it for whatever reason, so we submitted to the mailbox. We got this postcard about a new church in town and it had a picture of the building with the big white skinny steeple. We agreed to try that one, but by the time Sunday rolled around, we lost the postcard. I think we went to the Methodist church for the next couple weeks and followed the services by driving around in search of the steeple. After 2 - 3 weeks, we came to the building and drove up to the back (where the door was). People were all just about gone, so I thought it was safe enough to walk up and see if I couldn't find a sign. Sure enough, there it was. Northside Community Church, meeting in a local Christian School.

The next week we visited for the first time. They were playing pop/rock type music, which was awesome! Ang and I were both really getting into that. Then this young guy got up; Chris Dixon. He did something that I had never really been apart of before (once when back in college, but I forgot the impact of it). He picked up the Bible and spent the next 45 minutes reading it and explaining it in ways that I had never heard before. Much of the time, it felt like he was addressing me personally. I felt very uneasy in the building, but very intrigued at the same time. During the next week, he asked if there was anybody who wanted to become a Christian - accept Jesus in his/her heart. This was foreign to me, but at the same time made complete sense as he explained our need. My wife made a choice that day. She had raised her hand and had prayed for God to forgive her for everything she had done and was going to do and ask that the Holy Spirit to come and live in her to be her guide throughout the rest of her life. I remember her that day. She was ecstatic! She called my parents, who were both Christians already and had been praying for us for what was probably years. Ang just couldn't hold it in. She was the happiest I had ever seen her, even to this day, and I was happy for her.

The next week was more of the same, and I really enjoyed it. I couldn't wait for Sunday to come. It was all making perfect sense to me. Then came June 29, 2003. We walked into the church that morning, were greeted by some people and we sat down. Then something completely different happened. Instead of the preacher getting up to speak, people got up on the stage which was decorated. The right side looked like a living room; the left was made up to be a battle ground. What happened for the next 45 - 50 minutes was amazing for me. The actors up on stage put on a skit for the entire time of the service. On the right, was a family who had found an old chest up in the attic and went through it to find an old letter. As they read the letter from a Revolutionary War soldier back to his wife, the actor on the left began to act out the words. My heart sank and I was engrossed. Here was this military man, much like my friends, who was in combat - and was very confused. As the skit went on my heart grew softer and softer as this happened to relate directly with what I was struggling with most. The drama ended, much too soon for me, with the soldier dyeing on the battle field. But just days before he received his fatal wound, he had prayed for forgiveness and was baptized in a lake. He came to understand what it was that Jesus came for....

At that point, this guy, Brandan, came up with an acoustic guitar and began to play and sing a song. As he was playing, there was a video being played up on the wall. It was depicting the crucifixion of Christ. As I was sitting there, watching the video, it became clear; I imagine it was very much like what alcoholics refer to as a moment in clarity, when things just start to make sense for the first time. I had grown up with an understanding that Jesus came and died for the sins of the world, and that is not necessarily untrue. But what became clear to me at that moment, was that he came and sacrificed himself for me. If I were the only one he needed to come for, he would have. If you were the only one he needed to come for, he would. I chose Jesus that day.

This was the greatest choice I have ever made in my life. As I learned, and am still learning, what it means to live life God's way, I am finding restoration in so many different areas of my life. The biggest one has been in my marriage. I love my wife more today than I have ever loved her before. Is she perfect? Nope. Am I? Not even close..., just ask her! But what is cool, is now we get to influence not only Collin's life, but also Jonathan's and Joseph's as well, with the different things we have learned and only hope that they choose to not make the same mistakes that we have made throughout life.

Do I still feel guilty when I see a guy in uniform at the airport? Sometimes. But I have come to terms with it and now trust that His plans for me are perfect and it did not include seeing combat in the Middle East.

You see we are all forced to make choices throughout life. We make good ones; we make some bad ones. We reap the rewards and we pay the consequences for our decisions many times over. Sometimes our choices affect the ones we love in a positive way, and other times we have to say we are sorry for the pain that our choices may have caused them. But one choice will need to be made in this lifetime. The choice about what you will do with Jesus. Remember, not making a choice is actually a choice. What do you choose? Please don't take it lightly!